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The FOGHORN
ROTARY CLUB OF HALF MOON BAY
June 29, 2022
Debunking President Joe Brennan
Social at the San Benito House - End of the Rotary Year
Article by Stacy Trevenon
Photos by EJ Dieterle
President Joe’s dinnertime debunking was held at the cantina of the San Benito House on a balmy Wednesday evening, June 29. Those present jumped right away into the festivities. Club niceties like the pledge or a formal invocation just had to wait until a later meeting.
But wait. The script was penned as usual by our talented Kevin and followed (more or less) by the talented and very high-spirited debunkers – and suspiciously harkened back to President Joe’s Rotary visits to places far and wide!!
Kevin, playing Joe, entered the “stage,” boisterously bemoaning that he had just finished a huge commitment as Past President, and planning retirement, called for everyone to share what they had been up to. Bill volunteered, saying he had just got back from a vacation in Mexico where he drank margaritas morning, noon and night. Joe chimed in that he had been to Mexico and Incoming President Krystlyn sarcastically says I'm sure your going to tell all about it, and Kevin aka Joe B. said, “There once was a town called La Paz, / Where I went to support a great cause. / So many folks there / Needed a chair / So we took some and got some applause.”
That drew applause indeed from the Rotarians present, though Liz (who was not there; her part was read by Stacy) had a more eye-rolling response (“Very clever, Joe. We know how you love your limericks.”) Asia was next, and an eager Joe (channeled by Kevin) bubbled “Well … I once took a trip to Nepal / I tried very hard not to fall. / The Sherpas I hired / Never got tired / Even when I hit the wall.”
Kevin/Joe let us know that he’s not only been to South America, he’d actually once worked there, to which a skeptical Bill replied “You’re joking, right?” And Kevin/Joe replied, “Me, joking, Actually … I flew like a bird to Galapagos / For a job that didn’t pay the most, / I saw some rare birds / And penguins in herds, / I didn’t know which I admired the most!”
To which Liz/Stacy said, “Okay, Joe, that’s enough. We get it, you’ve been everywhere.”
To which Kevin/Joe; not to be outdone, retorted, you guessed it, “I’ve been everywhere, man. / I’ve been everywhere, man. / Crossed the deserts bare, man. / I’ve breathed the mountain air, man. / Of travel I’ve had my share, man. / I’ve been everywhere.”
End Scene.
But (you guessed that too) that didn’t end the heartfelt Rotary presentation or involvement. Krystlyn read on:
“Our President Joe has indeed traveled far and wide in the world, hiking, biking, hitchhiking, driving, flying and cruising. He is extremely well-traveled … if you can believe all that he tells us! For example, he claims to have worked at the Academy of Sciences at Golden Gate Park. Right.
“Today we are here to thank him for doing such a great job in such challenging times. I sent out a survey to all members and found out that over the past two years, only half of you wore pants to our meetings! I guess half of you just lied on the survey? Anyway, I think we can all agree that Joe did a great job of finding speakers for our Zoom meetings. What you don’t know is that there were some speakers that didn’t make the cut:
“Did you know that we had offers from:
· “The QAnon Shaman that attacked the Capitol on Jan. 6? He became unavailable due to incarceration;
· “The physician who is pioneering a revolutionary procedure for brain transplants? The meeting slipped his mind;
· “An arsonist? His presentation went up in flames;
· “A survivor of the Titanic sinking? Turns out there was enough room for two on that door.
“Liz (read by Stacy) then pointed out that we have all been beneficiaries of Joe’s generosity. Besides pitching in on just almost every project, Joe has gone beyond what is expected of him as our President. He provided a fajitas lunch to celebrate the return of in-person meetings in the library. He provided ice cream and cake to celebrate the May and June birthdays, and he also did many other things. There were also some other things that Joe offered out of his generous heart, but the offers weren’t always accepted. Would you like to hear about some of those offers?
“To which the crowd chorused ‘Yes!’”
“Joe offered to drive a group of nuns to Mexico to do charity work. They declined when they realize they would have to ride in the back of his pickup;
“Joe offered to teach a class, free of charge, in hair styling. He didn’t get anyone to sign up, but at least he did offer;
“Joe offered to coach the gymnastics team while John Evans was unavailable, but his offer was politely declined after he showed them his cartwheel and somersault;
“So as you can see, Joe is extremely generous, sometimes to a fault!”
Then Kevin/Joe continued with his salute to the states, starting with Alberta, until Liz/Stacy pointed out that Alberta isn’t a state, it’s a Canadian province and not part of the U.S., to which Kevin responded “picky, picky,” and asked for a good story about Alberta but no one had any. Then Krystlyn announced a song of praise for Joe which began with “For he’s a very odd fellow, for he’s a very odd fellow, for he’s a very odd fellow, and so say all of us! And so say all of us, and so say all of us. For he’s a very odd fellow … ”
A few people couldn’t be there that night, and for them, Kevin announced their congratulations. Among them were Paul Wrubel, who had written two poems which Kevin recited after stating that they were definitely not sentimental poems: (the ellipses indicate where my recording wasn’t clear for a perfect transcription)
“Galapagos
The most unusual destination he chose.
How he got there, Heaven knows.
It’s an island once obscure, by the name of Galapagos
Joe frolicked with the local wildlife
Of tortoises, iguanas, penguins and birds
It was a strange place …, … and nerds.
It must have gone well, because he passed the test.
There is to this day, no Ecuadorian warrant
For the man you could arrest.
So that was Galapagos, and here’s one about Nepal:
Undaunted, Joe continued his travels unbroken
And arrived at a place where Nepalese was spoken
On arrival, Sherpas of every shape and size
Tried to sign him up to climb a mountain nearby
They offered a free spa … a chance to conquer Everest right at the hood
But Joe took a look at the challenges ahead
And decided that glory weighed far below that, dread,
So Joe researched viable ways to decline
He called his doctor and convinced him of a plan,
Once used by another famous, well-known man
The doctor complied and sent Joe’s Sherpas a note
It had a message from a physician and it wrote:
About bone spurs, and it made it uncomfortable
When it worked for a president, it worked one more time.
And so we gather to honor and cheer
Our President Joe, for a glorious year.
Again, there is one final word that needs to be … --
A new badge, with the word cash, as in cash.” For Paul Wruble
Krystlyn called for applause for Kevin as the Entertainment coordinator, which brought raucous, delighted applause. And then Krystlyn gave Joe a gift of a beautiful crystal globe, in thanks for all he has done. That brought great and joyous applause, especially when Joe looked intently into it and said, “Krystlyn, I can see your year coming into focus!” amid shouts of “Four More Days!” He didn’t get a gavel because he said he didn’t want one, but in case he did get a gavel, he had brought along a “prop” -- two walnuts he pulled from his pocket to crack with a gavel. And she gave him his Past President pin, a Past President lapel pin, and an updated Paul Harris pin with a red ruby. She acknowledged that this means he has donated money and time to the foundation, which brings the recipient pins with different colors of stones. (Editor's Note:Paul Harris Fellow recognition is awarded to an individual who contributes $1,000 or more cumulatively to the Annual Fund, PolioPlus, or an approved Rotary Foundation grant. Recognition consists of a certificate and pin. Multiple Paul Harris Fellow recognition is given in subsequent $1,000 levels. So called “Paul Harris Fellow Plus” awards consist of a pin with stones corresponding to the recognition amount.
- Plus One - $2,000 to $2,999.99 - one sapphire
- Plus Two - $3,000 to $3,999.99 - two sapphires
- Plus Three - $4,000 to $4,999.99 - three sapphire
- Plus Four - $5,000 to $5,999.99 - four sapphires
- Plus Five - $6,000 to $6,999.99 - five sapphires
- Plus Six - $7,000 to $7,999.99 - one ruby
- Plus Seven - $8,000 to $8,999.99 - two rubies
- Plus Eight - $9,000 to $9,999.99 - three rubies)
Applause sprinkled with shouts of “Four More Years!” concluded the celebration, and Joe mentioned his trip on the FDR's Potomac which raised money to end polio, and recalled once meeting a man who did an impersonation of FDR, who spoke of things FDR had done. Joe said that as he passed the costumed man, who was there wearing his monocle and chomping his cigar holder, he said, “Four more years,” to which the man replied, “Son, four more terms!” Joe said he was happy with his one term and thanked each and every one of us for supporting him, saying that it made his year easy; even though it was a hard year, we got through it. Applause!
Krystlyn suggested singing Happy Birthday to Mitone, who Warren suggested might be our youngest ex-president. We are dark for the next two Thursdays. We acknowledged Ginger’s birthday too, and Krystlyn suggested text-bombing her.
Joe called for a show of hands for all who could be in the Fourth of July Parade on Monday. Dogs and bikes are also welcome. Meet at 11 Monday at the library. There will be a car, and banners. Everyone got a gift: two wine glasses bearing the Rotary 50th anniversary logo, and there were also delicious cupcakes for all. Party hearty, as Krystlyn said!
