FogHorn Aug. 25, 2016  - Club Olympics at La Nebbia Winery

Sadly, the synchronized water ballet performance had to be canceled when it was discovered that chemicals in the pool were causing the performer's hair to turn green. If that were the only problem, the competition would have proceeded. The fact that the chemicals were also dissolving the elastic component of the bathing attire proved to be an insurmountable obstacle. As a result, the Rotary coed synchronized water ballet team consisting of pairs, big Dave and Cherise, Wes and Diane, and Dwight and Erwin were relegated to competing in other events.

The HMBIOC (Half Moon Bay International Olympic Committee) consisting of Renée, Kathy and Christine, when confronted with the realities of the athletic prowess of the competitors, was forced to institute a new set of regional competitions. In reporting on these events it proved impossible for this journalist to observe every competition. (Actually, this journalist was preoccupied saving EP from herself by collecting the dark chocolate Hershey's that had been left on all of the tables.) Fortunately, photographs were taken and the review of those photographs was instrumental in re-creating the events.

The balloon popping required a pair of Rotarians to engage in unnatural acts in order to effect popping a balloon. EJ is currently offering for sale photos of gold medalists Warren and Dave in a most romantic embrace the balloon trapped between them. EJ has indicated that if Warren or Dave are willing to pay a premium, he will take the photos off the market. Joe and Dwight won silver medals in this event and someone else won a bronze ( Editor's Note: Charise and Dianne won bronze - Yeah!!!).

Our Olympic judges created a special event for those with spastic throwing ability. Who knew that the Half Moon Bay Rotary Club had so many qualified athletes. The event involved hurling paper plates through hula hoops at a distance of about 10 feet. Some people, Dwight, were lucky to get there plate to travel more than 6 feet. Others, Dianne, actually endangered people located behind them. There are some questions about the judging (Renée, Kathy and Christine) since at least 5 people, Steve, Eric, Erwin, Dave and Dianne were all sporting gold medals after this event.

The final event involved tossing plastic hoops over flags which were planted in the ground. This was clearly the signature event of these Olympics. Just as Usain Bolt, the fastest man in the world, rose above the competition to become the face of the Summer Olympics, so to did Bill Johnston who won the ring toss become the face of the Half Moon Bay Olympics. (I suppose it is worth noting that he was tied with Joe for the gold, but that is just a technicality since the judges failed to take into account additional points which should have been awarded for style.) The "also ran" competitors for this event included Wes with the silver medal and Steve and Erwin tied for the bronze.

Closing ceremonies involved a proud performance the national anthem, and a chant of USA led by Warren. The ceremonies were marred when a spectator grabbed an American flag and began running around like a narcissistic attention hound. Ultimately the security forces rounded up the miscreant.

As we all drove off to our mundane lives, a few stragglers stayed behind to take bocce lessons from Betty, Eric's mother.